No question about it. The most alarming challenge in managing conflict is controlling emotions. Especially fear and anger. When these are aroused, they are hard to set aside. One has to catch them early on — before they grab hold.
It is easy to understand this, but it is harder to do it. A very funny comment form a therapist.
it is rarely optimal to be angry as much as your culture prescribes, unless your community happens to be Buddhist, Swiss, or Inuit.
But can we get through conflict without the anger? Professionals come closer to this ideal. They learn how to focus elsewhere. Can you? Of course you can .. with a little training.