We get trapped in negative conflicts more than we should and when we are locked in, we get frustrated. This is why folks often give speeches when they get angry. They think they need to in order to get it all out. To “clear the air”. And they may be convinced that they need to to that — for themselves. But what about everyone else?
Hmmm … usually, these speeches are emotional and deeply focused on only a few points. They can be very good on those points. But they lack balance and they often close off opportunities from the other side to see the situation more clearly.
They are usually, the best speech that should NOT have been made. The reverse gives a different experience. If you think through what the situation demands and then offer it, you can walk away from the encounter knowing that you did your best to move on. You may not have given the speech you wanted to give, but you can pat yourself on the back for being a better conflict manager.